Transitions Through Childhood

We as humans go through some amazing transitions throughout our lives. Not only do we mature at a speedy rate when we are young but as we grow into adults physically and psychologically we experience multiple transitions. I began thinking of this the other day while at our local YMCA pool. Our neighbors had invited us to go and as we entered the pool I was flooded with memories of the recent summers the kids and I spent there.  In the summer of 2009 my ex-husband disappeared and I had no clue as to what to do. We joined the Y and I took the kids to the pool almost every day. Jonah was only three months old so I never brought him outside. The following summer he began walking and he toddled around the pool in swim trunks that were so long on him they looked like pants. Then last summer he quickly became acquainted with the frog slide and jumping off the side into the water, laughing the whole time. As these images ran through my mind I realized how fast time flies and also how easily we parents get caught up in the daily bustle of life and forget we are witnessing these little lives change daily.

How many of you are parents to teenagers? Can you remember being their age and feeling like your friends were your reason for living? Teenagers naturally want to separate from Mom and Dad and begin to make lives of their own. The hormonal changes for boys and girls during this time are on hyper drive and can cause major disturbances in any household. I’m sure some of you Moms and Dads (if any Dads actually read this!) are wondering where in the world your sweet baby girl went to and how was she replaced with this overly sensitive, dramatic young woman.  I know boys go through many hormonal transitions as well and can become very moody and distant from his parental units. I remember being a teenager and feeling so disconnected from my parents at times. My sister and I never got into much trouble but the temptations to “push the envelope” were certainly there. And for many families today divorce, economic stress, addiction, and many other trials can have detrimental effects on children’s natural transitions through life.  And even if you are providing your teens with a solid foundation, great support and lots of love, they still can seem to become different people in your eyes!

Parents who have young children like mine probably remember all to well those sleepless weeks with babies and also the joys of watching them roll over, crawl, climb on the couch, eat normal food, begin to walk, and then begin to talk. So many changes come about in such short periods of time but while we’re in the midst of them we feel like the days are dragging by so slowly.  My children are transitioning with their new Dad and I will admit, these beginning weeks have not been super easy. Because none of them remember their biological Father being around they relate way more to me than Bryan. I had told him when we first met how tired I was of being both the fun parent and the disciplinarian. Being a completely single parent is extremely difficult. Tonight at the dinner table he told the kids, “I’m the bad cop and Mommy’s the good cop”. I laughed because it’s true. My kiddos have to transition from one parent to two and it will take time. But I believe that parents can make the transitions a bit easier if we really listen to our children, try to remember how it was to be their age, and to keep in mind that they do not fully understand what is changing inside them either.

Give your kids love, personal space, healthy boundaries, and stick with your rules. I know that’s not always easy and I’ve given in many times. But keep trying and pray every day that each transition can be seen as a new adventure - even when you want to pull out your hair and theirs!